Sometimes to get freedom, there is war first.
Have you ever heard the phrase, “Hurt people hurt people”? It’s true.
After a conversation with my leader a couple of weeks ago, I found myself in an all too-familiar cycle. I replayed the sentences in my mind, appalled at what was said. I was offended because i was hearing and seeing through a lens of threat. My entire being was in a constant state of bracing itself in certainty of the next hurt from a person or situation. Much like a porcupine with his quills engaged, I was living in a perpetual state of defensiveness to keep from getting hurt.
Troubling thoughts continued to swirl as bits of the conversation looped in my mind. Finally, I thought it best to write an email of what I thought about the conversation, along with various other “opinions”. The oppression and condemnation was so heavy, I could barely function.
What was happening to me?
I cried out to the Lord, as I randomly googled the words “spirit of trauma” without really thinking. I found a trustworthy source and began reading. This minister had over 30 years of experience setting people free from trauma. Something this minister said prompted me to look up the scripture where Jesus healed the boy from seizures. I looked it up and read it (Luke 9:37-43). As I read it, I immediately thought of my cousin who has had epilepsy all his life. I also knew that I often found myself trying to complete certain tasks, and would just freeze up with mental and emotional blockages.
When I was young, I remember my mechanically-inclined dad talk about motors that would be “seized up” or “froze up” which meant they would not function at all; the parts would not turn. If you look the up the word seize on websters.com, seizing means to bind, to take prisoner, to overwhelm physically. At that moment, I knew that not only had I personally gone through some horrific trauma in my own life, but this was a generational situation. I knew I must get free from this. I also knew once I received freedom, I had the key to freeing others.
The next afternoon, our church family had a cookout and saw my leader for the first time since I sent that email. I repented to her, told her that I knew what was happening, and shared with her what the Lord showed me.
Engulfed in flames
That night after everyone ate, prayer broke out in the kitchen. I remember my leader praying against trauma for another lady, then she turned and looked at me. I saw fire in her eyes as she said, “You have the anointing to set people free from trauma! That is the call on your life!” She put her hand on my head. I was engulfed in flames as I dropped to the floor in tears.
That night, I experienced deliverance from trauma and a level of freedom I never experienced before. I finally knew what it meant to abide in that peace that Philippians talks about; that peace that surpasses all understanding that guards my heart and mind! I am able to experience a joy I could not experience before. All it took was for me to be in willing surrender to the Lord, no matter what it looked like, or who was watching.
The Lord’s justice is rendered against the enemy when a person is set free and they set others free. I would love to pray for you to receive the same freedom in Christ!
Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen:
To loose the chains of injustice
and untie the cords of the yoke,
to set the oppressed free
And break every yoke? — Isaiah 58:6 NIV
By Angie Woodard